The people that will survive and thrive in the years ahead are those that can cope with change successfully. Managing change positively is easy when you know how – even the worst of setbacks can, when handled well, create a huge window of opportunity and personal growth.
Yet so many people buckle under the stress that changes, even positive ones, create. Learn how to manage change positively and keep your dreams of a better future alive.
“Transitions are a time of renewal” Excerpt from Happy at Work: for mid-lifers – a practical and inspirational guide for career-changers and job-hunters. Happy at Work can be previewed and purchased here
Are you still feeling frustrated, miserable, under-valued, uninspired or trapped in your current job? Or do you just have a very real sense that soon you are going to make some changes? Perhaps you have already started to move toward your preferred future, but it feels like an uphill crawl? The term transition describes the process we go through when we are managing change in our lives.
It may be heartening to know that there are three stages to this – endings, neutrality and new beginnings. The neutral zone is a time you may stay in the longest. It can involve pain and suffering, or at the very least it can be uncomfortable. This is a time when you can feel, all of a sudden, that what you knew and were certain of before, you no longer know now. It can be a time of incredible self-doubt. Experiencing many emotions – including hurt, sadness and anger – are often common.
You may be thinking a lot about the past and have serious questions about the future. It can be a time where nothing much seems to be happening. Don’t be fooled. In the neutral zone, there is much happening – you are letting go of what used to be so that you can make room for what is yet to come. And in seeking a resolution of the discomfort, there is great potential for creativity, regeneration and renewal.
Change, even when it’s something you’re actively seeking, isn’t easy. Sometimes the easiest thing can be sitting back and doing nothing at all, coasting down the same old path, sitting in the same old rut, doing the same old things and feeling that same old gnawing feeling that you could be doing something more with your life.
Where Are You at?
You may gain some comfort, as I once did, to know that there is a natural process to change. William Bridges’ ‘managing transitions’ diagram shows the complex process of adapting to change simply and powerfully.
Where do you feel you are in the change process? Has life as you knew it ended suddenly – perhaps as a result of restructuring? Do you still feel a sense of loss? Or are you feeling more in control of your career but still unsure and anxious about your future? Or are you feeling excited and optimistic about your future? Are you in the mood to take a calculated, life-affirming risk? Do you feel an increasing sense of purpose? Are you feeling motivated, inspired and enthusiastic. Are you actively planning to make your dreams a reality or are you still caught up in the excitement – your head in the clouds but, as yet, no firm foundations under your feet?
A Window of Opportunity
Whatever forces are at work on you, know that they are providing a window of opportunity for a new vision for the present and the future, and for creativity and growth in life and career. Take heart, never lose sight of your preferred future and patiently but persistently work toward realising the life of your dreams.
Life Cycle Transitions and Callings
It can help to know that life planning experts believe a natural desire for change occurs as you approach the mid-years. In the first half of life, what you may feel ‘called to do’ typically links inner selfhood to major outer commitments, such as careers, interpersonal bonds, leadership functions and community roles. In the second half of life, ‘callings’ are more often about inner values and concerns. They tend to be transformations within the self itself, downsizing your ego needs and increasing your concerns for life beyond yourself. At this stage in life many people say they are more concerned about finding meaning and purpose from their work activities. They are often drawn to: mentoring roles; servant leadership; advocacy of projects, organisations and causes; grandparenting; guardianship of human and natural resources; wise advisor; consulting with non-profits; and leisure-related activities.
Other experts believe the true profession of a person has always been to find their way to their authentic, true self. In mid-life we are often free-er to do that. Despite knowing this, sometimes when you are about to change you can begin to worry excessively. Excess worry can increase feelings of anxiety, fear and self-doubt. It’s important to kick the worry habit the moment it takes hold. Loosing sleep and feelings of depression or increased irritability are some classic signs to be on the lookout for.
Some helpful ways to kick the worry habit include:
1. Notice your worry. Jot them down in a worry journal. Pay close attention to common worry- filled thoughts. Noticing the thoughts that rob you of peace of mind is the first step in preparing for change successfully.
2. Change your thinking. Instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong, think about all the things that could go right.
3. Distract yourself. Set a time for worrying. Perhaps it could be for 20 minutes each afternoon. The rest of the time keep yourself busy. Force yourself to keep your mind off your worries. Get out. Call a friend. Go for a drive. See a funny movie or read an inspirational book.
4. Talk about it. Talk to other people who have felt the same and ask them how they got through it. What techniques helped them manage change successfully?
5. Move! Exercise promotes the generation of feel good hormones, promoting feelings of well-being, calm and confidence. Go for a run, take a brisk walk, swim in the sea, cycle through the bush or shake your booty at the local dance club.
6. Take action. Most of the things we worry about never happen. Procrastination only increases feeling of worry and stops the change process. Nothing cures worry more than taking action. Feel the fear and take baby steps toward your dreams anyway.
7. Catastrophise. Lay all your worries out in the open. Imagine all the things that could go wrong, and then double them! Now challenge them. Is this realistic? What would you need to do to minimise this happening?
8. Remind yourself of your progress. List all the positive step and obstacles you have overcome to reach this point already. Start an achievement section in your passion journal if you haven’t started one already. Update and review it regularly.
9. Remind yourself of your coping and success skills. When you are feeling stressed or anxious it can be difficult to remember all the things you do well. Refer to your feedback journal and remind yourself about all the strengths and positive qualities you possess. Focus on what is going well and how you have managed stress successfully in the past.
10. Don’t fear failing. What’s the worst that could happen? Minimise its hold on you by developing a back-up plan.
11. Go for it! Visualise the end goal. What will it feel like when you achieve your dream? What will people say? What will you experience? Spend time every day experiencing your dream now.
“As you grow into your dream, your fears grow along with you.Courage is action in the face of fear ” Mary Morrisey, author
“Dreaming is easy. Acting on those dreams – saying to yourself, Hey, wait a minute, I want this – is another kettle of fish. It takes conviction and faith, even audacity.” Martha Beck, Author
